Psychedelic Adventure

The 100th Monkey Effect : Quantum Evolution

We live in a Holographic Reality where any one change in the Hologram creates a ripple effect and begins to change and affect the entire hologram.

This effect was also observed in the 1960's by several Japanese primatologists who were studying the Japanese macaques or Snow monkeys.

Here is an article by Owen Waters about the 100th Monkey Effect which clearly shows this quantum evolution taking effect.

The Shift & The Hundredth Monkey Effect by Owen Waters

The Shift is the awakening of humanity’s heart. This transformation of consciousness, the greatest one ever recorded, first became apparent in the mid-1960s and has been building momentum ever since.

The Shift is a collective transformation consisting of the sum of each individual’s step into the New Reality. Each person, in their own time, is moving forward into a stage of consciousness which brings a wider vista and an awareness which springs from the heart. When enough people’s primary attention becomes focused through their heart chakras, then the ‘hundredth monkey effect’ will occur.

The Hundredth Monkey Effect was first introduced by biologist Lyall Watson in his 1980 book, ‘Lifetide.’ He reported that Japanese primatologists, who were studying Macaques monkeys in the wild in the 1950s, had stumbled upon a surprising phenomenon.

His book was soon followed up with a deeply inspired work by Ken Keyes in 1981, called “The Hundredth Monkey Effect.” In this, Ken Keyes made an impassioned appeal for an end to the Cold War and its policy of mutually assured destruction. Here, in the words of Ken Keyes, is a description of the key elements of the Hundredth Monkey Effect:

The Japanese monkey, Macaca fuscata, had been observed in the wild for a period of over 30 years.

In 1952, on the island of Koshima, scientists were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkeys liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant.

An 18 month old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they taught their mothers too.

This cultural innovation was gradually picked up by various monkeys before the eyes of the scientists.

Between 1952 and 1958 all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more palatable.

Only the adults who imitated their children learned this social improvement. Other adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.

Then something startling took place. In the autumn of 1958, a certain number of Koshima monkeys were washing sweet potatoes -- the exact number is not known.

Let us suppose that when the sun rose one morning there were 99 monkeys on Koshima Island who had learned to wash their sweet potatoes.

Let's further suppose that later that morning, the hundredth monkey learned to wash potatoes.

Then it happened!

By that evening almost everyone in the tribe was washing sweet potatoes before eating them.

The added energy of this hundredth monkey somehow created an ideological breakthrough!

But notice.

A most surprising thing observed by these scientists was that the habit of washing sweet potatoes then jumped over the sea –

Colonies of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop of monkeys at Takasakiyama began washing their sweet potatoes.

Thus, when a certain critical number achieves an awareness, this new awareness may be communicated from mind to mind.

Although the exact number may vary, this Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon means that when only a limited number of people know of a new way, it may remain the conscious property of these people.

But there is a point at which if only one more person tunes-in to a new awareness, a field is strengthened so that this awareness is picked up by almost everyone!”

Lyall Watson had originally researched and assembled the story from the available testimonies of the primate researchers. Because the phenomenon took the researchers so much by surprise, they had not counted how many monkeys it took to trigger this effect. So, Watson proposed an arbitrary figure of ninety-nine monkeys, and said that one more, the so-called one-hundredth monkey, would then provide the critical mass of consciousness necessary to trigger the effect.

The new behavior pattern spread to most, but not all, of the monkeys. Older monkeys, in particular, remained steadfast in their established behavior patterns and resisted change. When the new behavior pattern suddenly appeared among monkey troupes on other islands, only a few monkeys on those islands picked up on the new idea. The ones most receptive to new ideas started imitating the new behavior and demonstrating it to the impressionable younger ones. Thus, they too began their own path towards their eventual hundredth monkey effect.



How the Hundredth Monkey Effect Works

The mechanism for this transference of ideas works the same way for monkeys as it does for all sentient beings. We exist within an atmosphere of global mind. The human brain is constantly receiving and transmitting mental pictures and information to and from that mental atmosphere in which we are immersed.

The global mind, otherwise known as Jung’s collective unconscious, does not cease to function because a few skeptics don’t like its effects. It functions just like it always has, passing information from one individual to another based upon their common frequency of consciousness. If progressive monkeys had a new idea, then so did other progressive monkeys on other islands. They resonated at the same frequency of consciousness.

Inventions often occur at the same time by inventors who are not in physical contact with each other. For example, in 1941, Les Paul designed and built the first solid-body electric guitar just when Leo Fender of Fender Musical Instruments was doing exactly the same thing.

Have you ever had an idea, then seen other people express or use that idea. You probably said, “Hey! I thought of that first!” Well, that’s the way the global mind works. It’s an atmosphere that you share with all other sentient beings, but you tune in especially to the particular topics and frequencies of mind that interest you the most.


What This means to The Shift

When enough people have gone through their personal version of The Shift to the new consciousness, then a critical mass will form and suddenly everyone will become aware of the New Reality and its heart-centered values.

That is the day when heart-centered values will become the focus of everyday thinking for the vast majority of people. That is the day when humanity will begin to look back on what has changed and realize that a massive shift has occurred.

Source : Infinite Being

Why Grit, Not IQ, Predicts Success

Brain Pickings

Wisdom from a MacArthur Genius: Psychologist Angela Duckworth on Why Grit, Not IQ, Predicts Success

by Maria Popova
 

“Character is at least as important as intellect.”

Creative history brims with embodied examples of why the secret of genius is doggedness rather than “god”-given talent, from the case of young Mozart’s upbringing to E. B. White’s wisdom on writing to Chuck Close’s assertion about art to Tchaikovsky’s conviction about composition to Neil Gaiman’s advice to aspiring writers. But it takes a brilliant scholar of the psychology of achievement to empirically prove these creative intuitions: Math-teacher-turned-psychologist Angela Duckworth, who began her graduate studies under positive psychology godfather Martin Seligman at my alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, has done more than anyone for advancing our understanding of how self-control and grit — the relentless work ethic of sustaining your commitments toward a long-term goal — impact success. So how heartening to hear that Duckworth is the recipient of a 2013 MacArthur “genius” grant for her extraordinary endeavors, the implications of which span from education to employment to human happiness.

In this short video from the MacArthur Foundation, Duckworth traces her journey and explores the essence of her work:

We need more than the intuitions of educators to work on this problem. For sure we need the educators, but in partnership I think we need scientists to study this from different vantage points, and that actually inspired me to move out of the classroom as a teacher and into the lab as a research psychologist.

In the exceedingly excellent How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character (public library) — a necessary addition to these fantastic reads on education — Paul Tough writes of Duckworth’s work:

Duckworth had come to Penn in 2002, at the age of thirty-two, later in life than a typical graduate student. The daughter of Chinese immigrants, she had been a classic multitasking overachiever in her teens and twenties. After completing her undergraduate degree at Harvard (and starting a summer school for low-income kids in Cambridge in her spare time), she had bounced from one station of the mid-nineties meritocracy to the next: intern in the White House speechwriting office, Marshall scholar at Oxford (where she studied neuroscience), management consultant for McKinsey and Company, charter-school adviser.

Duckworth spent a number of years toying with the idea of starting her own charter school, but eventually concluded that the model didn’t hold much promise for changing the circumstances of children from disadvantaged backgrounds, those whom the education system was failing most tragically. Instead, she decided to pursue a PhD program at Penn. In her application essay, she shared how profoundly the experience of working in schools had changed her view of school reform and wrote:

The problem, I think, is not only the schools but also the students themselves. Here’s why: learning is hard. True, learning is fun, exhilarating and gratifying — but it is also often daunting, exhausting and sometimes discouraging. . . . To help chronically low-performing but intelligent students, educators and parents must first recognize that character is at least as important as intellect.

Duckworth began her graduate work by studying self-discipline. But when she completed her first-year thesis, based on a group of 164 eighth-graders from a Philadelphia middle school, she arrived at a startling discovery that would shape the course of her career: She found that the students’ self-discipline scores were far better predictors of their academic performance than their IQ scores. So she became intensely interested in what strategies and tricks we might develop to maximize our self-control, and whether those strategies can be taught. But self-control, it turned out, was only a good predictor when it came to immediate, concrete goals — like, say, resisting a cookie. Tough writes:

Duckworth finds it useful to divide the mechanics of achievement into two separate dimensions: motivation and volition. Each one, she says, is necessary to achieve long-term goals, but neither is sufficient alone. Most of us are familiar with the experience of possessing motivation but lacking volition: You can be extremely motivated to lose weight, for example, but unless you have the volition — the willpower, the self-control — to put down the cherry Danish and pick up the free weights, you’re not going to succeed. If a child is highly motivated, the self-control techniques and exercises Duckworth tried to teach [the students in her study] might be very helpful. But what if students just aren’t motivated to achieve the goals their teachers or parents want them to achieve? Then, Duckworth acknowledges, all the self-control tricks in the world aren’t going to help.

This is where grit comes in — the X-factor that helps us attain more long-term, abstract goals. To address this, Duckworth and her colleague Chris Peterson developed the Grit Scale — a deceptively simple test, on which you evaluate how much twelve statements apply to you, from “I am a hard worker” to “New ideas and projects sometimes distract me from previous ones.” The results are profoundly predictive of success at such wide-ranging domains of achievement as the National Spelling Bee and the West Point military academy. Tough describes the surprising power of this seemingly mundane questionnaire:

For each statement, respondents score themselves on a five-point scale, ranging from 5, “very much like me,” to 1, “not like me at all.” The test takes about three minutes to complete, and it relies entirely on self-report — and yet when Duckworth and Peterson took it out into the field, they found it was remarkably predictive of success. Grit, Duckworth discovered, is only faintly related to IQ — there are smart gritty people and dumb gritty people — but at Penn, high grit scores allowed students who had entered college with relatively low college-board scores to nonetheless achieve high GPAs. At the National Spelling Bee, Duckworth found that children with high grit scores were more likely to survive to the later rounds. Most remarkable, Duckworth and Peterson gave their grit test to more than twelve hundred freshman cadets as they entered the military academy at West Point and embarked on the grueling summer training course known as Beast Barracks. The military has developed its own complex evaluation, called the whole candidate score, to judge incoming cadets and predict which of them will survive the demands of West Point; it includes academic grades, a gauge of physical fitness, and a leadership potential score. But the more accurate predictor of which cadets persisted in Beast Barracks and which ones dropped out turned out to be Duckworth’s simple little twelve-item grit questionnaire.

You can take the Grit Scale here (registration is free). For more on the impact of Duckworth’s work, do treat yourself to the altogether indispensable How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character.

Highly Sensitive Persons Lifespan  

Feb 27, 2012

As people step in the challenges of life it will mainly transform them from different demands as they grow up molding them to be a better person with their different experiences in life.

Highly sensitive person will be subject to different stresses as well as difficulties accompanied by it. But, they are able to adjust with such stresses as they are learning to cope with them.

In the stage of infancy and childhood, it will take a hard time controlling because high sensitivity is present from birth. Without being aware with the child's condition, the parents treat their infants and children as to be highly demanding individual without recognizing their real need. As they grow up, the child will set up their minds that they are difficult to handle and that their parents do not want them anymore.

Highly sensitive children may require developing abilities and manage those skills to uplift themselves. This idea will be helpful to avoid them from being highly stimulated with events. They can use molding abilities such as drawing.

When a person reaches teenage life, it would be more comfortable for them to turn their attention to peers rather than the family they grow up. Highly sensitive teenagers will gain security with their social friends and develop their social life along with them. In this stage, it would be more on learning social life in their society they are in rather than digging up problems at home. They find themselves outrageous enough overcoming problems when they are with their friends and just laughing around and having a party all night long. Peers are also helpful with highly sensitive persons since they can gain confidence within themselves. It is because of peer influence that they can show what they are like volunteering themselves to organizations together with friends. 

At the age of mid-thirties, a highly sensitive person will be more focus on the task that they need to be done in their society as well as their role they need to develop. They need to be more equip on what is happening in the community they are living. By this age of their life, the individual will learn about their practical abilities that are highly important to their work as well as related emotional skills in caring with themselves and others especially family members and friends. They are now capable in dealing with responsibilities in life.

About the Author

Isabella Pedersen Isabella Pedersen blogs about highly sensitive people over at Highly Sensitive Person HQ where you can also find another article about The Highly Sensitive Persons.

Characteristics of Highly-Sensitive People

Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD

Professor of psychology ECPI university

   

Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD

 

Characteristics of Highly-Sensitive People

Emotional Intelligence , Emotional Health , Emotional Wellness , Emotional-Maturity , Highly Sensitive , Highly Sensitive People , Highly-Sensitive People , Healthy Living News

Psychologist Elaine Aron writes in her book The Highly Sensitive Person that about 15 to 20 percent of the population is characterized as highly sensitive (HS). She adds that about 30 percept of people are moderately sensitive, while 50 percent of people think of themselves as being sensitive while they are "not at all sensitive."

What being highly sensitive is NOT:

1. Emotionally immature
2. Self-centered
3. Unpredictable and unstable emotions
4. Over-dependent
5. Demanding and attention thirsty

Characteristics of highly sensitive people:

1. Have great imagination
2. Have great intellectual abilities
3. Are creative
4. Have a curious mind
5. Are hard workers
6. Are good problem solvers
7. Are extremely conscious and compassionate
8. Are intuitive, caring and spiritual
9. Have a strong sense of aesthetic awareness
10. Respect nature, art and music greatly
11. Have profound and intense sensations
12. Can access important information from the unconscious mind
13. Have a depth of understanding and feelings
14. Are objective and can see the bigger picture

If these individuals don't learn to handle their high sensitivity, they may suffer greatly. Some of these are a loss of balance when it comes to a self-sacrifice schema, which always leads to emotional deprivation. For instance, Jeffrey E. Young links high sensitivity, or as he calls it, the "highly empathic temperament" with the Self-Sacrifice Schema (Young, 2003, pp. 246-251), which in turn is almost always related to the Emotional Deprivation Schema. In his opinion, these individuals need to learn to focus on themselves instead of or before focusing on others and to learn to get their own needs met fist, needs they typically are not aware of. After that self understanding, they will have a clear picture of what they want to do with their life to make a difference.

Some ways that can help HS people manage their abilities:

1. Emotionally, highly-sensitive individuals are easily overstimulated up to a point where they may experience great pain or great joy. They can have a combination of an introvert and an extrovert personality traits due to the fact that they need to be by themselves to become centered, and they also love connecting to other people and their environment. As reported before, many of these people learn to mask this gift of sensitivity, intuition and creativity because they do not know how to deal with the overstimulation. Cognitive modification can be helpful.

2. Physically, highly-sensitive people need time and space to be by themselves to process the amount of input they absorb. They may have low tolerance to noise and anything too strong when it comes to sensations. They also seem to have more body awareness and can feel when their body is not comfortable in an environment. Therefore, nutritionally they have to stick to simple foods that are full of nutrients and have a healthy balance. They also have to connect to nature and do regular exercise, relaxation, meditation and any other activities that go with their nature to calm themselves down and recharge after the over stimulation.

3. Socially, sometimes HS people may feel like misfits and have to learn ways to tolerate imperfections they see in the depth of others. They need to learn to connect while having clear boundaries as to when to say no and how far to go with something and someone. In addition, HS people need to become assertive and have regular "me" times. When it comes to their social personality, these individuals are usually shy, but their shyness is not because they are weak but rather is based on a need to survive. Since their nature is oversensitive, biologically they are designed to be shy as a self-protection mode. However, if the shyness is too much and is affecting their need to be social and to connect, then they can modify it through behavioral and cognitive modification.

4. Additionally, they have to learn to give and receive love and they have to realize that the process has to have a balance point. They have to understand that self sacrifice that leads to emotional deprivation is not healthy. They have to allow themselves to be vulnerable, face problems rather than running away from them, relate positively to life, and learn from their experiences. Some of these individuals avoid some areas of their life and some of the challenges because of their oversensitivity not realizing that in some of these challenges lies great opportunity.

5. And last but not least, these individuals have to find a meaning in their life. All humanity desires this but for HS people, this is a need. It is their innermost desire to help others be happy, and they can use their abilities to bring their creative side out and make this world a better place for all, even if a small step.

Overall, many of our writers, creators, inventors, imaginaries, discoverers, and people who have contributed greatly to this world may fall in the category of highly sensitive. We need more of these people and we need to encourage them to unleash their potential. For those people who want to become more sensitive, they have to learn ways to overcome society's encouragement to be overly analytical, materialistic and competitive and to encourage themselves and others to cherish this trait and make the best of it.

Sources:
1. Aron, Elaine. The highly sensitive person.
2. Young, Jeffrey E. et al. 2003. Schema Therapy: a practitioner's guide.

Some suggestions to read:
"The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" with foreword by Elaine Aron, and "The Highly Sensitive Person's Companion" by Ted Zeff, PhD.
Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD
Self Knowledge Base & Foundation
A non-profit dedicated to public education
www.SelfKnowledgeBase.com
For more by Roya R. Rad, M.A., Psy.D., click here.
For more on spiritual development, click here.

10 Tips for Highly Sensitive People

10 Tips for Highly Sensitive People

 

By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Associate Editor

 

When I completed Elaine Aron’s Highly Sensitive Person Self-Test, I checked 24 statements. Out of 27.

I checked everything from being bothered by bright lights and loud noises to getting startled easily to trying to avoid mistakes to not watching violent movies or TV shows.
Maybe you can relate.

While there are many differences among highly sensitive people (HSPs), we have one thing in common: HSPs have a sensitive nervous system that makes it harder to filter out stimuli and easier to get overwhelmed by our environment.

For instance, the sound of sirens and other loud noises might reverberate like nails on a chalkboard through your head. (They do in mine.)  Crowds might make you especially uncomfortable, while strong smells make you feel sick.


Being highly sensitive isn’t a disorder, aliment or flaw; it’s simply an innate trait, according to Ted Zeff, PhD, author of three books on HSPs, including The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide and The Strong, Sensitive Boy. 

Unfortunately, because we’re not like most people, HSPs tend to worry that something is wrong with them. (According to HSP pioneer Elaine Aron’s research, about 20 percent of the population is an HSP.) As an HSP himself, as a boy, Zeff recalled feeling shame for his sensitivity in a society that associates masculinity with being aggressive, tough and stoic.

Today, the idea of masculinity has largely remained the same in our culture with a few added pressures on both genders. Our world is a fast-paced one, filled with even bigger crowds, louder noises and shorter deadlines. Even the pressure to constantly stay plugged in with social media, email and texting can be tough on someone who requires regular peace and quiet.

But there are ways you can effectively cope. Below, Zeff shares his tips on how highly sensitive people can traverse today’s overstimulated world.

1. Set a bedtime and morning routine. 

For at least an hour or two before bedtime, shut down all electronic equipment and engage in calming activities, such as reading an uplifting book, Zeff said. Keep the morning calm, too. Spend 30 minutes centering yourself by practicing yoga or meditation, he said. You also might journal or read, he said.

2. Identify your triggers. 

Again, all HSPs are different, so it’s important to determine what stimuli trigger your discomfort. For instance, Zeff’s friend, an architect and fellow HSP, didn’t mind the deafening noise during his home remodel. (He could tell the workers to stop any time.) Similarly, one person might pass on violent movies, while another lives for them.

3. Plan ahead. 

If you’re sensitive to loud noises and crowds, avoid seeing new movies on a Saturday night or eating out at peak times, Zeff said. Instead, see an early showing or go on a weekday, and have an early dinner when restaurants tend to be less busy, he said.

4. Work around triggers. 

Planning ahead doesn’t mean avoiding the activities you love. For instance, Zeff loves to travel. But traveling is one of the noisiest, people-packed things you can do. To tune out triggering noises, Zeff brings his iPod with calming music, earplugs and construction-style earmuffs. He also books hotel rooms on the top floor, at the rear, which tend to be quieter. When he’s staying with family, he brings a white noise machine. If noise also bothers you, consider noise-canceling headphones or CDs with soothing sounds.

5. Investigate current stressors and solutions. 

If you’re in a super stressful job, consider why you’re staying, and be open to all options, Zeff said. One of his clients, a chef, worked in an upscale restaurant in San Francisco. The stress got so bad that he developed ulcers and digestive problems and had trouble sleeping. Because he was living in such a pricey place, he believed that he had to make this much money. He and Zeff discussed moving to a calmer, more affordable area. Months after, he got a job two hours away from San Francisco, and his rent was half the price. And even better, his health problems went away.

6. Remember your gifts. 

Even though being highly sensitive isn’t a flaw, you still might feel bad that you’re easily bothered by things that others aren’t. There have been many times that I wished I enjoyed roller-coasters like everyone else (as if riding roller-coasters somehow makes you brave), didn’t freak out when I heard a loud bang or wasn’t so sensitive to others’ critical comments. Many times I’ve felt embarrassed or weak or strange.
But HSPs also tend to have many positive qualities, including being creative, conscientious, loyal and deeply appreciative of the arts, Zeff said. (Douglas Eby, a Psych Central blogger, shares five gifts of being highly sensitive.)

7. Take mini retreats. 

Zeff stressed the importance of downtime. He suggested getting away at least once a month and relaxing several days a week. Enjoy nature (if you live in an urban area, visit a park) or get a massage, he said. Add calm into your week with activities like aromatherapy, he added.

8. Engage in gentle exercise. 

Zeff recommended hatha yoga, tai chi and walking. If you like exercising at the gym, pick a facility that’s not so noisy or wear a headset, he said. It’s also better to exercise before 6 p.m. or 7 p.m., because it takes a few hours for your nervous system to calm down, he said.

9. Speak up. 

Non-HSPs simply don’t notice loud noises or strong smells or other stimuli that might be bothering you, so speak up. For instance, say your co-worker talks loudly on the phone. If you think they’ll be open to adjusting their behavior, first build a rapport with them, Zeff said. Then explain that while they’re not doing anything wrong, you have a trait that makes it tougher to tune out stimuli (which about 20 percent of people have), he said. You don’t want to interfere with their lifestyle, but maybe they could speak more softly or when you’re on break, he said.
HSPs also tend to get more upset over hurtful comments, Zeff said. “If someone [has] an abrasive personality, speak up.” But remember to be polite. “Don’t become an insensitive sensitive person demanding everyone…shut up.”

10. If seeing a therapist, see someone who knows about HSPs.
 
Interview three therapists and ask if they’ve read books about HSPs (such as Elaine Aron’s Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person: Improving Outcomes for That Minority of People Who Are the Majority of Clients or Zeff’s books) or are at least familiar with the concept and willing to learn, he said.

The Highly Sensitive Man

Sense and Sensitivity

The ups and downs of daily life as a Highly Sensitive Person

by Deborah Ward

 

The Highly Sensitive Man

Why expressing feelings is a powerful tool for the highly sensitive man. 

Published on October 12, 2012 by Deborah Ward in Sense and Sensitivity

 

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Being a sensitive man can present unique challenges as men are still held to a standard of masculinity that does not often include showing their feelings. Being a highly sensitive person involves struggling to cope with feeling overwhelmed by sensory and emotional information and the stress of modern life and finding opportunities to express those feelings can be difficult. But with an understanding of themselves and an appreciation of their traits, highly sensitive men can find their sensitivity is both a gift and a strength.

Since high sensitivity means that we are absorbing large amounts information from our environment on a daily basis, one of the most challenging aspects of this condition is coping with the feeling of being overwhelmed. Sometimes we’re aware of it, like when we walk into a room and the music is so loud it hurts. Some of the information we absorb we do so unconsciously. We’re not always aware of the effect that the boss’s bad mood is having on us, for example, or the stress generated by a busy schedule. But whether we’re aware of these stressors or not, they all take a toll on us. It’s the way we deal with them that makes the difference between health and sickness, happiness and despair.

While many people do not understand the reasons for a highly sensitive woman becoming upset over the sound of a screaming baby or overwhelmed by the crowds at a fair, they will still usually accept her reaction. Highly sensitive men are not often accepted in the same way. Men are expected to hide their feelings, suck it up, and soldier on.
The result is that men often bury their feelings in an attempt to conform to social pressure and as a way of dealing with the feelings they themselves struggle to understand. This kind of compartmentalising of emotions, that is, separating your feelings from your thoughts and actions, is often an unconscious coping tactic. By stuffing unpleasant feelings, such as anger, fear, anxiety, worry and hurt, into an imaginary box, a man can find it easier to move on. Unfortunately, you can’t pick and choose which feelings go into the box. If one goes, they all go, including the positive ones, like happiness, enthusiasm and love. This strategy may make life easier for the highly sensitive man, but it also makes his life flat, cold and ultimately lonely.

Without the practice of showing their feelings, it can be difficult for men to even know how to begin. What’s more, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to even be aware of what they’re feeling. Consequently, when someone does ask how he is feeling, he responds that he is fine, that there’s nothing wrong. The problem, however, is that he becomes emotionally distant from those people he cares about and who care about him, making it nearly impossible for him to receive the love and support he needs.

Compartmentalising your feelings can be a useful and often an essential technique for coping with overwhelming feelings when you are in a situation that prevents emotional expression. For the highly sensitive man, however, becoming aware of and expressing those feelings on a regular basis is crucial for maintaining a positive sense of self, as well as being a powerful tool for lowering stress levels. HSPs experience so much stress, thanks to environmental overload, that facing their feelings is fundamental to their health. Pushing feelings away does not make them disappear. In fact, feelings tend to grow the longer you avoid them.

This might explain why some men appear to be calm and coping well, until they suddenly explode with anger. It just all becomes too much.
Recognizing and accepting yourself as a man who is highly sensitive is the first step. Sensitivity is a gift, not a weakness, and it means that you are creative, empathetic and able to appreciate wonderful sensory elements in life like music, art, fragrances and colours that other people often miss. Being highly sensitive also means that you have an ability to help others. Burying your feelings is easier, but talking about your feelings takes courage. By becoming aware of your feelings and learning to express them, you not only draw loving people towards you, you can also teach others how to cope, simply by being an example of that magical combination of sensitivity and strength.

Cultural influences on sensitive men

Submitted by Douglas Eby on October 22, 2012 - 3:08pm.

Dr. Ted Zeff has researched highly sensitive boys and men in five countries, and notes there are some distinct cultural differences. For example, North American (U.S. and Canada) HSMs (highly sensitive males) who reported that they had supportive parents as boys and who played group sports as a boy were “never” or “rarely” teased for being sensitive., and most sensitive boys in all countries indicated they “usually” or “always” thought there was something wrong with them during their childhood, and didn’t fit in with other boys. - From my post: Ted Zeff on highly sensitive boys and men
http://highlysensitive.org/371/